I have big news guys, but I’ll share that later. Know that shit might be a little hit and miss around here for a bit. And that I’m aware that if I was decent I could have said something sooner about my absence. I’m sorry for that. But not for the absence itself, just so we’re clear, since I’m totally peeved when bloggers constantly apologize for their absences ;) For now though…
I went to the Library and had what could possibly be considered an embarrassing interaction with the helpful older Librarian at the sign up desk.
Librarian: We can proceed if you just give me your number….
Me: Oh god….Uhhhhh….I thiiiiink* my cell is 555-5555? I’m not 100% on that though, let me check…
Librarian: ACTUALLY, nowadays, we call them MOBILE PHONES. Nobody says cell phones anymore. *giggles obnoxiously*
Me: *shame* I had no idea.
Now, the questions portion – Am I totally old school? Did we stop saying the word cell in regards to our mobile phones? When did this happen? Does the word mobile sound incredibly pretentious to you too? And most importantly (!) What’s your opinion – was this lady A) being helpful or B) a rude old hag?
Because of the following, I’m going to go with B) rude old hag.
She had an American accent but insisted on saying ‘mobile’ like an English person would. Or how I think they would. Again, I don’t hear people use this word so I wouldn’t really know. But it was like this…
*Maybe this (where I don’t know my own number) is actually the most embarrassing part of the story? Ya, I think so too.
And then another one….
Backstory – Somehow, due to a mistake by a librarian at some point, I was given a duplicate account when I owed money on another one. Lucky break right?! That’s what I thought too. Then this helpful librarian starts digging deep and cracks open the whole conspiracy. Meaning I can’t check out books until I pay a $28 fee. Ew.
I can see she feels bad now about her discovery and she nervously leans over the counter towards me…
Librarian: *glancing around* I shouldn’t do this but it seems really crazy that you had two accounts and now you can’t check out books….None of that was even your fault technically.
Me:Yeah, I’m so surprised! Where did this other account come from?
Librarian: Shhhhhh, it’s fine, *super hard to hear whispers* I’m going to wave the fee.
Me: OhMyGod! That is the sweetest thing!! I don’t know how this all happened but I really appreciate your help and…shit…
Librarian: Yes, well it’s the least I could do! Gosh, all this nonsense about fees and duplicate accounts and you can’t even check out books right now?! Anyways, did you want to make your payment today or at a later date?
Me: Uhhhhh…what payment? I thought….Didn’t you wave the fee?
Librarian: OH GOSH NOOOOO!! *laughs obnoxiously* Not that fee. I waved the $1.50 fee for a new card. I gave you that for free.
Wow. Your generosity knows no bounds. Played me like a fiddle, that one.