Here’ a little something to help you start the new year off with a suave social presence. I know that’s something you were wanting to master right? Well..here it is, a break down of the most important part of any social situation, the introductions. Why? Because everything stems from this moment.
With a well handled introduction, you can set the mood for the entire relationship. It can be awkward going to a new place and meeting new people. Which people or group to approach, what to talk about with people you barely know and so forth.
Here are some pointers.
Look Me In The Eyeball– Enough said.
Put Your Hands On Me– When you meet someone you should make a point of touching them. I also recommend trying to be as little of a creeper as possible when pulling off this move. Most people go for a handshake (make sure it’s not limp and your golden) and some ladies can look effortless rocking the “Double Air Kiss”. If you are an energetic hug loving nut then that’s the contact for you. The key here is not what kind of physical contact you make; it’s that you are smooth and natural while doing it. People will like you more and remember you longer if instead of a nod and smile you touch them.
Say My Name– It’s been proven (I’m sure this is true) that everyone’s favorite word to hear is their own name. Also proven, saying a name out loud helps you remember it better. So there. Facts on why it’s best to say a name. I know what you’re thinking…what if you’re at a party and are being introduced to three or more people at the same time?!?! Won’t that be weird?! It could be, which is why I’ll give you a tip on how to be a smoother operator when using this friend winning skill. Don’t JUST repeat people’s names! Observe my faux introduction conversation below…
Mindy: “Oh, Hannah Alyse, allow me to introduce you to this wonderful group of people standing about… This is Grant…”
Moi: “Grant! It’s so good to meet you! Mindy was telling me about an art series you did…I’d love to talk to you about that later…”
Mindy: “And this is Theresa…”
Moi: “I’m so glad we’re being introduced Theresa. I’ve been in awe of your hair since I arrived! You look fabulous!”
Mindy: “…And last but not least, this is Conrad…He’s dating Jenny….”
Moi: “Oh yes! I met her last week at the Farmers Market. She was so funny. Well, it’s wonderful to meet you Conrad…”
So now you can see (despite the insane amount of cheese in the above convo – I don’t talk like that) how it’s not super weird to use people’s name during introductions. It can be a great opening to showcase your own charming personality.
Tell Me I’m Special– Fact: People LOVE being told they are special, pretty, smart, etc. and you are just the person to let them know. As you can see in the above scene, I tossed out some compliments right off the bat. This gets it out of the way and their first (some would say MOST IMPORTANT) impression of you is that you made them feel good. I’ve said it before, that in most (read ALL) cases, it doesn’t matter who compliments you, just that someone took the time to say something nice about you. I’m very liberal in my passing out of compliments. Really anyone who catches my notice deserves to hear why they made me smile. To my way of thinking we could all stand to say more nice things in our days.
Set the Opener– In my lovely introduction with Mindy (above) I set the opener for more conversation. This is very important. Now throughout my night, I can easily waltz up to Grant and ask him about his art series without it being weird. I can also sweep over to Theresa and mention that I’m looking for a hairstylist and since her hair is so divine would she be so generous as to share? Chances are they would both enjoy speaking to me again because I was so charming when we met. Since I used an opener I’m not the weird girl asking things completely from the left field. And since I’ve complimented them…they will want to share/brag about themselves. This is only natural.
So there it is. How to be the lively and lovely person who people are actually glad they met. And you will be embraced and loved and never be lonely again! Well, that’s a bit much. BUT, it will make an amazing first impression which was our whole aim in even talking about this yeah? Let me know what you think about these social pointers! I’d love to hear what you have to say!
PS: A really great manners guide is Gala Darlings Guide To Manners For The Modern Minx from her book Love & Sequins. Manners are chapter 4. She goes way past introductions and it’s lots of fun. I am in no way affiliated with Miss Darling, I’m just letting you know!
Also, this was previously posted elsewhere, I just moved it here because it seems like a good time to talk about it again and I want to continue to talk about manners and social situations. You gotta start at the beginning.